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Why do we give flowers to someone who is grieving, or buy some for ourselves when we are sad? An analysis published on November 3, 2026 by Phys.org, republished from The Conversation and written by Karen Anderson, shows that cut flowers comfort us through their sensory appeal, their symbolism and their ability to express what words struggle to convey. The reflection reaches back a long way in time, to Neanderthal burials.
Flowers where words fall short
Faced with the death of a loved one, finding the right words is not always easy. A bouquet makes it possible to express care without imposing a conversation that may be awkward or painful. According to the article republished by Phys.org, flowers offer a discreet, unobtrusive acknowledgement of another person's pain.
Their colors, textures, scents and shapes stimulate the senses and can be soothing. The author notes that flowers may reduce stress and trigger calming chemical responses in the brain, although these effects still need further study.
A very ancient funerary tradition
During his excavations of Shanidar Cave in the Kurdish region of Iraq, American archaeologist Ralph Solecki uncovered graves containing pollen and fragments of various wild flower species. He saw this as a sign that Neanderthals may have placed flowers beside their dead some 60,000 years ago.
The interpretation remains debated within the scientific community, but it illustrates how old the link between plants and funerary rites is, long before writing and the great religions.
Symbols that vary across cultures
The meaning of flowers associated with death changes from one country to another. The chrysanthemum is the most striking example. In Japan, it is associated with death and reincarnation and may be placed in the coffin. In China, white and yellow chrysanthemums are often sent to the family of the deceased, other colors generally being avoided.
In the United States, where the flower symbolizes truth and purity, it is used to honor a person who has lived a full life. In France, Germany, Italy and Malta, by contrast, it is seen as a flower reserved for the dead. Among Indigenous peoples of Australia, native plants, leaves and flowers are part of the mourning and healing practices associated with Sorry Business.
Supporting grief without forgetting the deceased
Grief is exhausting and can bring physical as well as psychological fatigue. The article refers to attention restoration theory, according to which time spent in nature, or simply looking at it, can reduce mental fatigue and improve concentration. A vase of cut flowers can play a comparable role, on a smaller scale.
For the author, living with grief does not mean letting go of the deceased, but integrating the past into the present. Giving flowers to a grieving person can maintain the bond with the person who has died while supporting the living. At public tributes, wreaths and bouquets also create a visual sense of unity and collective support.
Buying flowers for yourself: a form of self-care
Buying or choosing flowers for oneself is, according to this analysis, a form of self-compassion and self-care. A bouquet, however modest, creates a personal space of attention and self-worth.
Flowers evoke pleasure, joy, contentment and gratification. Through their cycle from budding to blooming and then fading, they also remind us of the fragility of human life, while affirming love, gratitude and hope.
Frequently asked questions
Why do we give flowers when someone is grieving?
Flowers allow us to express support without words, in a discreet and unobtrusive way. Their sensory qualities can also soothe the grieving person. They also recall the bond with the deceased while showing that life goes on.
Did Neanderthals place flowers on their dead?
According to the article, archaeologist Ralph Solecki found graves in Shanidar Cave in Iraq containing pollen and fragments of wild flowers. He saw in them a possible floral offering practice some 60,000 years old. This interpretation remains debated.
Why is the chrysanthemum associated with death?
In several countries, including France, Germany, Italy and Malta, the chrysanthemum is reserved for the dead. In Japan, it is linked to death and reincarnation. Its symbolism therefore varies greatly across cultures.
Is it normal to buy yourself flowers when you are sad?
Yes, according to this analysis, treating yourself to flowers is a way of caring for yourself and showing kindness. A bouquet can help reduce stress and create a moment of pleasure or comfort.
Sources
Original summary written with the help of artificial intelligence from the sources cited, checked automatically, then translated from the French original. Information and quotations belong to their authors. Read the French original.
